Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday!

Once upon a time... Don't these words mean so much?? I've Always dreamed of my 'once upon a time'where it starts where it will end and the ups and the downs, yes it will not be a dramatic as a Dragon guarding a tower and the knight in shining armor coming to rescue me and sweep me off my feet.. I mean I have my own dragons that the right guy at the right time will come And "save" me from my "dragons" and I just need to be paitent for my knight to come and rescue me. I want my happily ever after and I would like to find someone soon that I know is right for me and that I could potentially marry in the temple for time and all eternity! And then I will be able to start my own family!! I look forward to thAt day!! :) for now I need to learn paitence and ibneed to wait for mr right :) this is one of many random posts! Haha xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
<3 me

You're Not Alone...

You know the poem 'Footprints in the Sand'? I've been thinking a ton about that lately! Ive been feeling really alone and scared(a little) and that's the one of the only things I can really think about that has helped me to relax! Everytime I'm afraid I know that the Lord is with me and is carrying me every step of the way until I can stand on my own two feet again. And that's one of the hardest things to do, getting back up on two feet. There are days when I wish that I'm back in kindergarten wanting to never grow up without a care in the world. But since that can't happen I know I have to keep growing up and lemme just say that 19 is just weird. Paying bills, living across the country, trying to find myself while not being able to date because the guys out here aren't members of the church so I can't really "find love" while working. So as a newly single woman... I am very bored and I'm starting to believe that I will never "find love" well atleast for the next 3 years I won't. That's right I said three. I've been asked/invited to stay out here working for 3 years until Chloe is 5 she's turning 3 in Selye ever so we'll see. I really want to live out here with my family(in the future I mean). It would be the best thing ever!!! I LOVE the people out here they are really truly amazing!! :) well that's all I have to say for now!!! OH!! Today I picked Chloe up from nursery and her teacher said that she volunteered to say the prayer and she said it for the first time in nursery and Ian told me that HE also said the prayer tor the first time in HIS class as well!!!! I was SUPER proud of them both!! Well now THIS is all I have to say! Loves! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox <3 me

What's done is well... Done.

It's sad to think that after 4 months of dating one person you would get somewhere.... Not always the case. I finally broke up with the guy I had been "dating" (if you could even call it that) and I feel relief but at the same time I feel guilt, sad, lonely, happy, and any other emotion you might be able to feel with this "break up". I'm not quite sure how I should really feel yet but I'm mainly just confused I guess. Not much I can really feel is there? I'm not sure about it anymore... Heck I'm not sure about life anymore!!! I'm not sure how much more I can handle physically and mentally. I know that in all I do that the Lord provides and that He works In Mysterious ways. Sometimes I am very patient but then there are times where I can't wait any longer... Hmmm! I think that I'm actually learning something from myself here.. Weirdness

How To...

okay.. so i mean it's not THIS brutal.. but it is stinkin hard! and im not sure how to do it and how to handle it... i'm datin this guy who lives on the other side of the country and he works.. a ton! he's gone for long periods of time and i never know if i'll get to hear from him again.. its kindof really hard and im not really sure how to handle it.. so i've decided that the best thing for me is if he and i split. so ive tried talking to him and bringing up things that i struggle with and things that i dont really like about him that he does to me.. so, what does he do? he isnt going to give up that easily.. and this  is the first time he's actually going to fight for me and not going to let me go. when i  was in PA i broke up with him and i ended up calling him back 2 weeks later and asking him if we could try again... mistake #1. now im stuck in this "pickle" so to speak and i dont know how to get out... now he's leaving for work and i dont get to talk to (or skype) him for 3 months... and i dont want to be "left out" for 3 months of the time we could be talking or skyping... no bueno. so now... i need to tell him that i wanna break up.. and i need to tell him in a way so that i dont hurt his feelings.. and i need to do it soon.. but i dont know how soon.. as soon as he gets home? or soon like  before he leaves soon?!?!?!?!?!

                                                       HELP MEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! </3

4 days later...

okay, i wish the sunsets were this pretty here!! haha but they are BEAUTIFUL!
so, ive been in Florida for 4 days now and i've seen real live crabs, sea horses, puffer-fish, DOLPHINS, lots of birds, lots of mosquitoes, and lots of fish! haha i've swam in the Gulf of Mexico, and the ocean and the water feels like bath water. and i wish that every water could feel THAT good! haha its amazing. i love florida. im not having very epic days, nothing to really blog about but i have been sunburned multiple times in the same spots and ive been swimming everyday....multiple times a day and i love it!! :) :) i dont really know how to describe it! but i think its off to swimming now :) x's and o's :) <3 me

. . .what to write?

i'm at a loss of words for this post.




I've had MULTIPLE missionary opportunities. . . . not living in Utah and being on my own and all... its fantastic!! :) one on the plane to Florida... and 3 with the family i work for... Mom says i should consider serving a mission.. i have to years to decide and commit. but i have to start somewhere and change myself now and my goals. . . well first i have to make some goals.. =/ whoops.  I'm really jealous that all my  friends right now are in a serious relationship, engaged, and/or married... im not really a fann..... =[ but i guess that that is life... right?? oh well. i dont know what else to write.. maybe something will hit me sometime soon?? hopefully.

Birthday Cake anyone??

Okay, so next Sunday (not tomorrow but in 7 days) is Ian's 6th birthday.. we are going to have cake here and then we fly to Florida the next day.. :) (super crazy!) and we are going to have birthday cake again!! its kinda crazy if you ask me. but i cant complain.. i had 2 birthday cakes for my birthday so.. im just sayin :D haha but anyways! I've been here now for 3 weeks now and it's been SUPER!! :) :) :) i dont really have much to say this week.. there maybe more in the next :) loves <3